1 Comment

  1. Hi Harry,

    I enjoyed reading this.

    In order to improve, please address the following issues:

    1) Please check all spelling and punctuation throughout. There are no commas or full stops in the first paragraph, for example.

    2) Please check the lengths of your sentences. There are times when the sentences are very long.

    3) I think you could develop your argument in some points. Maybe you could talk about previous refugees contributing to the UK economy and so forth. You could use statistics here, also.

    At the moment this lies at 20/40 (E1).

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